Helping a child deal with loss can be particularly challenging and painful for both child and parent or guardian. One strategy to help lessen the trauma is to prepare ahead by introducing age-appropriate books on the subject.
It’s a daunting task; a recent Amazon search on “books about grief for children” turned up over 6,000 titles. How to choose?
Consult with a trusted therapist/counselor and independent book shop owner for recommendations; the following three well-reviewed titles are suggestions to help you get started.
“My Friend Loonie” (Candlewick), by Nina LaCour and illustrated by Ashling Lindsay, is a sensitively presented lesson in the certainty of change.
“It began on the day her parents came home with a surprise.” The little girl stares in awe as the bright yellow balloon floats lazily up to the ceiling. She names the balloon Loonie, and they gaze out the window as nature unfolds around their cozy home.
They become inseparable, Loonie joining the girl at mealtime, sharing her bedtime story, doing homework together and playing together. Caught up in her happiness over her newfound friend, the girl brings Loonie outside, untethered, to see her garden. The inevitable happens, and the girl is sad for a long time.
Eventually she begins to see and feel signs of Loonie’s presence everywhere. Happy memories of their time together cheer her, and she soon realizes that friends — real or imagined — never leave us as long as we hold them in our hearts. For ages 4-8.
Author Jean-Francois Senechal takes a different — but equally gentle — approach in “I Wish I Could Tell You” (Milky Way), perfectly accompanied by Chiaki Okada’s tranquil, gauzy, impressionistic illustrations.
Upon learning of the death of his beloved grandmother, a young fox deals with his grief by setting down the words he wishes he could say to her.
“This morning, I’m writing you a letter…” he begins. Seated outside his home, gazing pensively into the distance, he recalls his last moments with her, on her deathbed. “It wasn’t you on that bed...” he laments, but a mere suggestion of the grandmother he knew and loved. As he composes the letter, recalling the joyous times they spent together, his memories come alive again; venturing out into the world for the first time, discovering the wonders of nature.
Stricken by grief, the fox first denies the reality of his loss, searching their secret haunts for a sign that she is still with him. Slowly, painfully, he comes to realize that life goes on, nature heals its wounds, and that the sun will shine again.
Finally, truly, the young fox is able to say goodbye. For ages 4-8.
Last but not least is “The Swing” (Prestel), delivering Britta Teckentrup’s overarching message that “...life’s most important messages never disappear.”
The swing, set on a green hill overlooking the sea, is a constant in an ever-changing world, a fixed point for comings and goings of all kinds; meet up with others, play, contemplate, experience moments of happiness and sadness, spark new relationships, celebrate long-lasting ones, end old ones, mourn loss.
The spare illustrations in muted colors evoke the ever-changing seasons, and the changes in emotional tone as the swing’s popularity as a meeting place ebbs, flows and is reborn over the passage of time. The suggestion of the figures whose comings and goings take place there, usually in silhouette or from the rear, encourages readers/viewers to reflect on life experiences of their own.
By turns celebrated, neglected and rediscovered, “The Swing” teaches that renewal and reinvention are possible, not just for a tired rusty swing, but for one’s own life. For ages 4-8.
Join our readers whose generous donations are making it possible for you to read our news coverage. Help keep local journalism alive and our community strong. Donate today.
